The ObamaCare Gettysburg Address Obama Did Not Have The Nerve To Give

Four score and seven days ago I brought forth on this internet a new website, HealthCare.gov, conceived in hubris, dedicated to incompetence and committed to the proposition that all men and women should have their insurance rated equally.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war against teaparty hostage takers, testing whether my website, or any website so conceived and so dedicated to incompetence, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of data security. We may soon come to dedicate a portion of my website, as a final resting place for those who believe I can remake 1/6th of the economy and that this nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that I should thusly prevaricate and seek political cover.

But, in a larger sense, we can not fix, we can not improve, we can not guarantee your personal data security. The code writers, living and dead, who struggled here, have been paid big bucks, far above our poor power to add or subtract. The world will little note, nor long remember what I usually say, but Americans can never forget when I said, “If you like your insurance, you can keep your insurance – Period!” as I did repeatedly.

It is for you, the winners of life’s lottery, rather, to be dedicated here to my unfinished work as I have promised to spend your money on behalf of they who fought to get me elected and who I have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for you to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before me—that being to guarantee my honored legacy as you take increased devotion to that cause for which you must give your last full measure of devotion—that I here highly resolve that these glitches shall not have been repaired by November 30th in vain—that this website, NOT under God, shall have a new birth of oppression—and that the progressive nanny state over the people, on top of the people, bedeviling the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Improving The Taste of Government For the Hashtag Generation

Smokey the Bear is getting an advertising makeover to stay relevant in these digital times.  Smokey has to be relevant in a user generated content world.  A worthy use of tax dollars?  Yeah, I think so in a lot of cases.  Fire Prevention, Seat Belts, Drunk Driving, Texting While Driving all valuable PSA campaigns.

So here’s the scoop on the new Smokey the Bear:

The ad agency Draftfcb has updated Smokey Bear and made him a hugger. A new series of public service announcements targets the social media generation and includes a Twitter hashtag, #SmokeyBearHug.

So these creatives morphed old Smokey the Bear into a hugger who said on his twitter feed he was “a friend of hipsters.”  I can handle the reinvention, I suppose.  The advertising agency guys that landed the gig are excited about their opportunity to work on an iconic government account:

“This was just this awesome, huge honor,” said Eric Springer, chief creative officer at Draftfcb Springer Southern California. “This was as cool as working for Coke. Brand government doesn’t have to put a bad taste in your mouth.”

That last sentence is a humdinger.  And here I thought the taste of government was once K Rations and would now be MRE’s.  Little did I know.  We have big dollar advertising creative guys who are worried about how our government tastes to its consumers.

Makes me think of the Dog Food analogy,  I don’t particularly like the taste of my Government Dog Food.  Do you?  BUT even worse is the phrase “brand government” which says so much.  The country has morphed even more so than Smokey has.

LINK:  http://www.timesdispatch.com/news/national-world/psas-get-refreshed-for-a-hashtag-generation/article_d4161b34-02c3-527c-b671-a4c2fc7adfc0.html

Somewhere Above Todd Beamer Shakes His Head in Dismay

US Credo 9/11/01 = Let’s Roll! #tcot #tgdn
US Credo 9/11/12 = Let’s Roll Over! #Benghazi
US Credo 9/11/13 = Let’s Roll with Putin! #Syria

Brow’s Theory on Al-Qaeda’s REAL Vow to Change the Face of History

It is received wisdom that intercepts by US Intelligence captured a vow by Al Qaeda to “change the face of history.” This resulted in US action to close embassies around the world as precaution.  The presumption was another Embassy Attack was coming, possibly many embassies at once on Barack Obama’s birthday.  Well, what if US Intelligence got it wrong.  A shocking possibility, I know. 

Imagine this scenario to see how incredibly wrong they might have been:

The act to change the face of history was a far bolder gambit than some run-of-the-mill embassy attacks.  That’s so Benghazi 2012 for Pete’s sake.  Instead, Al Qaeda’s bold act would be to employ chemical weapons in Syria.  That is, Al Qaeda would take chemical weapons smuggled out of Libya and use them against Syrian civilians in a “false flag” operation. 

The attack would transpire in such a very clever manner so the blame would be (naturally) pinned on Bashar Assad.  Western indignation would mount against Assad as a pariah and a war criminal who would gas his own people.  John Kerry would take the bait all hook, line and sinker.  Hell, Kerry sees this as HIS moment to change the face of history, does he not?

Ask yourself this question: why would Assad gas civilians instead of gassing the rebels’ military forces or strong points?  Why? Well, because he didn’t do it.  Al Qaeda did it.

This frame job on Assad would force the hand of a reluctant Obama.  Obama would have to enforce his “let me be clear” Red Line policy.  As Al Qaeda chuckles and stands aside to watch the show, a cruise missile and air assault of key Assad assets and command centers would ensue.

Cue the escalation scenario:

Jihadis retaliate against US and western European countries and interests across the region and even across the world.  Self-directed Sleeper Cells see this as the clear call to take action now.  Hezbollah unleashes missiles and terrorist attacks across the border into Israel.  Iran jumps into the fray even going so far as to attack Israel directly.  Israel would retaliate in self-defense.  A series of response and counter response actions would escalate the violence and expand the fight to greater and greater levels.

It wasn’t Bashar al-Assad who called Obama’s Red Line Bluff about WMDs.  Nope, it was Ayman al Zawahiri.  And somewhere right now he is smirking because he knows that with one simple chemical attack that he has changed the face of history forever.

If it’s not true at least it can make for a good screen play for Ben Affleck’s next movie…

 

Anthony Weiner Sets the “Mendoza Line” for Scandalous Politicians

Carlos Danger once played Winter Ball with Mario Mendoza...

Carlos Danger once played Winter Ball with Mario Mendoza…

The Mendoza Line is an expression in baseball to define the limits of futility.  The term Mendoza Line derives from the name of shortstop player Mario Mendoza, whose batting average is taken to define the threshold of incompetent hitting.

Well, analogously, Anthony Weiner has now set the “Weiner Line” for Politicians because I think we have finally find the limit of misbehavior for our elected officials.

1.  Bill Clinton did not set the limit with Monica Lewinsky

2.  Marion Barry did not set the limit with his crack pipe escapades and other follies

3.  Eliot Spitzer did not set the limit with the Adventures of Client #9

4.  Mark Sanford did not set the limit with his Appalachian Trail Hiking in Argentina

5.  David Vitter did not set the limit with his whoring around DC with hookers

But Anthony Weiner has finally set the outer standard on how far one can go.  Or has he?  I guess we will find out shortly…

The cutoff point of the Mendoza Line is most often said to be .200 batting average,and, when a position player’s batting average falls below that level, the player is said to be “below the Mendoza Line”. This is often thought of as the offensive threshold below which a player’s presence in Major League Baseball cannot be justified, regardless of his defensive abilities.

9/11 Rhetoric Eleven Years Later…

Simply put:

USA Slogan on 9/11/01 = “Let’s Roll”

USA Slogan on 9/11/12 = “Let’s Roll Over”

Obama Receives Nobel Prize in Literature Citing Hemingway as an Inspiration

USA Today had a howler today where Obama’s efforts with Health Care Reform were likened to the effort of Santiago to bring home his prized marlina in “The Old Man and The Sea.” The article quoted from the new David Corn book.  A book with a catchy catchy title: “Showdown: The Inside Story of How Obama Fought Back Against Boehner, Cantor, and the Tea Party.

The frustrations of the presidency once had Barack Obama reach for a literary metaphor.

“At times he couldn’t help feeling, as he told one associate, a kinship with the protagonist in Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea,” writes David Corn in his new book on the presidency.

“He had, against tremendous odds, caught a big fish, but on the long voyage back to shore, his prized catch had been picked to pieces by sharks,” Corn writes.

LINK:

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2012/03/obama-sometimes-i-feel-like-the-old-man-and-the-sea/1?csp=34news#.T2c0S9X5Y4Q

Random House publishing is leaking the title of Obama’s follow up literary effort:  “The Birth Certificates of Kilimanjaro”

Target Rich Literature:  maybe “The Unemployment Also Rises” or “For Whom the SuperPac Tolls” or “A Farewell to Jobs”