Frank Rich Fingers The Original Tea Party Racists…

December 16, 1763 was the date of The Original Boston Tea Party.

The following day, December 17, 1763, the Boston Chronicle published the now universally famous essay “Welcome to Colonial History Month” penned by the talented Tory inkstained scribe, Sir Francis Rich.

Rich’s incisive essay no doubt changed the course of Colonial history in the Americas and is still taught in Freshman Journalism class at the King’s Ivy League schools to this day.

In the piece, Rich correctly identifed the Original Tea Party crew as racists for dressing like Injuns to dump crates of legal, lightly taxed tea into Boston Harbor in a faux protest driven by their misguided desire to demonize the King of England.

In his most famous passage, Sir Rich spoke Truth to the Usurpers of Power:

How our current spike in neo-Colonial rebellion will end is unknown. It’s unnerving that Tea Party leaders and the so-called Sons of Liberty now aim to create a new volunteer militia that, as Prime Minister Lord North has put it, would use as yet mysterious means to “help defend against what they believe are illegal and improper infringements by the Crown on Colonial sovereignty.”

This is the same ideology that animated Guy Fawkes, whose attempted strike against the so-called ‘tyrannical’ King’s government will reach its 165th anniversary on Monday in the same city where Parliament meets.

Once correctly educated by Rich, the loyal subjects of Massachusetts united in a backlash against the Tea Partiers.  The deceptively named Sons of Liberty were arrested and prosecuted including ringleader Samuel Adams. 

Upon his release from gaol, Samuel Adams was publicly forced to imbibe copious amounts of his own illegal home brew before being tarred, feathered and ridden from town on a rail  — but not before being levied for the full amount of alcohol taxes due by his Majesty’s tax collector, Sir Timothy Geithner.

As teachers and students know well, the loyal subjects of Massachusetts learned the correct lesson from this episode, including many commoners who may have been initially snookered by the heated rhetoric of Adams et al. 

The good people of Massachusetts rejected the false promises of the Sons Of Liberty and have remained true to the Crown to this day.

With his characteristic wit and insight, Sir Francis forestalled a potential Revolution in the Americas– and no doubt saved The Colonies from a descent into the inevitable chaos of Democracy and Individual Liberty.

 

And that boys and girls is today’s lesson in Progressive Revisionist History…

Aside:  Samuel Adams was once quoted as saying, “I know Lord Charles Blow and Charles Blow is no Crispus Attucks.”

satirical inspiration from this @GovKaineBrow tweet:

HISTORY REVISED: Tories brand the ORIGINAL Tea Party crew as racists for dressing like Injuns & forestall the American Revolution… #tcot

11:51 AM  April 19  via web

 

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We Elected the Leader of the FREE World…

… and we got a junior Senator from the state of Illinois instead.

Barack Obama Bows to Bibi Netanyahu…

Signaling a fresh re-start to US-Israeli relations, Bibi Netanyahu took the courageous step today of (a) denying the Holocaust, (b) blocking Google in Israel and (c) jailing hardline Zionist settlers in east Jerusalem.

Barack Obama did his part to return the favor by bowing to Bibi via a Skype conference call and reaffirming Israel as a key US ally in the region along side Iran and Syria.

Press Secretary Booby Gibbsy said, “These constructive actions by Prime Minister Netanyahu will go along way to normalizing US relations with Israel and they also mark a solid step forward in the Middle East peace process.”

Hashtag Fun with Political #BirdFilms…

… just a few movie titles from political movies from @GovKaineBrow tweet stream for a bipartisan chuckle or two:

Political #BirdFilms “Doctor StorkLove”
8:32 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms: “Wag the Vulture”
8:32 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “Thank you for Finching”
8:34 PM Apr 9th via web

Politcal #BirdFilms “Primary Plovers”
8:35 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “A Flamingo In The Crowd”
#EliaKazan #OldyMoldyGoody
8:39 PM Apr 9th via TweetDeck

Political #BirdFilms “The Manchurian Cormorant”
#OldBlueEyes
8:40 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “All the President’s Macaws”
9:01 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “Mr. Sandpiper Goes to Washington”
9:02 PM Apr 9th via web

NJ TeaParty Prays For Obama’s Death…

… well, not really.

It was actually the Bergen County Education Association that prayed for the death of Governor Chris Christie. But it’s a joke doncha know!

Here’s the prayer as reported in the Bergen County Record:

“Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor.”

Those silly teachers in Bergen county sure know how to pull a leg!

I’m guessing one of those highly qualified AP English teachers who knows a thing or two about Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain penned the prayer. It takes someone smart to ink quality satire like that.

So let’s have a TRUE Teachable Moment: substitute Barack Obama for Chris Christie and then pretend the author was the New Jersey TeaParty instead of Bergen County Education Association.

Now imagine the howls of outrage… Too bad David Shuster is getting the boot from MSNBC because he would’ve run with this story.

Here’s the short link to full article: http://bit.ly/bvZvlh

(hat tip to my #tems pal @cubachi for the heads up on this one)