The ObamaCare Gettysburg Address Obama Did Not Have The Nerve To Give

Four score and seven days ago I brought forth on this internet a new website, HealthCare.gov, conceived in hubris, dedicated to incompetence and committed to the proposition that all men and women should have their insurance rated equally.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war against teaparty hostage takers, testing whether my website, or any website so conceived and so dedicated to incompetence, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of data security. We may soon come to dedicate a portion of my website, as a final resting place for those who believe I can remake 1/6th of the economy and that this nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that I should thusly prevaricate and seek political cover.

But, in a larger sense, we can not fix, we can not improve, we can not guarantee your personal data security. The code writers, living and dead, who struggled here, have been paid big bucks, far above our poor power to add or subtract. The world will little note, nor long remember what I usually say, but Americans can never forget when I said, “If you like your insurance, you can keep your insurance – Period!” as I did repeatedly.

It is for you, the winners of life’s lottery, rather, to be dedicated here to my unfinished work as I have promised to spend your money on behalf of they who fought to get me elected and who I have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for you to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before me—that being to guarantee my honored legacy as you take increased devotion to that cause for which you must give your last full measure of devotion—that I here highly resolve that these glitches shall not have been repaired by November 30th in vain—that this website, NOT under God, shall have a new birth of oppression—and that the progressive nanny state over the people, on top of the people, bedeviling the people, shall not perish from the earth.

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